06-02-2017, 10:10 PM
For me, in the end, it was just a decision. No sign from heaven, no prophetic vision, no sudden illuminating thought that caused it all to make sense. I still believe in God, because it makes sense to me that some intelligent force caused the universe to be. As for the rest? As in the "Jesus is God, born of a virgin, performed miracles, died for our sins, rose from the dead, coming again stuff"? I choose to believe it and live with the gray areas. I am fortunate to be in a church where questions are encouraged, so that helps.
For most of my Christian life, there was this kind of emotional thing we expected. If you didn't have it--didn't "feel" close to God--it meant there was something wrong spiritually, and it was your fault. Now I know that the feelings come and go.
On the intellectual side, for every argument I might make about the truth of Christianity, someone will have a counter-argument. And some other Christian will have a counter-argument to their counter-argument, and on and on, so reasoning alone won't cut it.
That's why I have come to the conclusion that I have to make a choice: choose to believe the crazy, paradoxical, frustrating, messy, supernatural message of Christianity, or choose to stop wrestling with it and let it all go. If I choose the former, I do it without any proof that it is true. That's why they call it "faith" I guess. I made the choice to believe because, like you, FTC, I didn't want to give up on it all.
For most of my Christian life, there was this kind of emotional thing we expected. If you didn't have it--didn't "feel" close to God--it meant there was something wrong spiritually, and it was your fault. Now I know that the feelings come and go.
On the intellectual side, for every argument I might make about the truth of Christianity, someone will have a counter-argument. And some other Christian will have a counter-argument to their counter-argument, and on and on, so reasoning alone won't cut it.
That's why I have come to the conclusion that I have to make a choice: choose to believe the crazy, paradoxical, frustrating, messy, supernatural message of Christianity, or choose to stop wrestling with it and let it all go. If I choose the former, I do it without any proof that it is true. That's why they call it "faith" I guess. I made the choice to believe because, like you, FTC, I didn't want to give up on it all.
"Love alone is worth the fight"--Switchfoot