[Woke Up]

#1  What causes a cult to continue when the majority of the members see the danger?

#2  Why aren't the older members as quick to see the danger as their children and grandchildren?

[leo the lamb]

#1: Really complex question, I think, with many facets, but there is a basic human tendency to not rock the boat for fear of change/the unknown. Cult members in particular are trained to fear everything that is outside their bubble. Seeing the danger but fearing a greater danger makes it very difficult to move.

#2: Far more time invested in the beliefs and loyalties, so any doubts tend to remain beneath the surface of consciousness - again change is seen as a threat, so the psyche stays in the safe and comfy zone as long as the person never gets too big a reality cheque. The kids who do end up going the same way will go through many points of denial and running back to the ones who have more years under their belt (a natural progression toward independence is discouraged). Has it always been this way, I wonder? We do live in different times, the information age, so kids today will hear a vast variety of truths and internalize those that resonate with them, even if they find it hard to think their own thoughts. The adults tend to shield themselves from outside influences more - not that they don't want to keep the kids on a leash, but that, increasingly, they can't.

[Away-From-The-Umbrella]

(06-19-2016, 11:51 PM)Woke Up Wrote: #1  What causes a cult to continue when the majority of the members see the danger?

#2  Why aren't the older members as quick to see the danger as their children and grandchildren?

#1
a) Not sure if all are seeing the true depth of the danger.
"Sure, pastor is a bit old fashioned, but he cares about us."

b) Fear of the unknown. This delayed our family's exit.
We were told that leaving the umbrella of protection that God provided via this particular church would leave our family exposed to all manner of evil.

c) If ex-members told us it would be safe - yea, even better for us to leave - we were warned we could not trust anything they told us. My former Fundy pastor said (from the pulpit) that ex-members lied, especially about how their kids were doing.

d) The other churches in the area did not honor God with their music and Bible version, so we would be dishonoring God by attending elsewhere. We were told there were no other God-honoring churches in a valley of over 250,000 people. And that we were turning our kids over to Satan if we sent them to other schools - Christian or public - especially public.

#2

a) Older members have invested heavily of their time and money. At my former Fundy church, potentially lots and lots of money. The pastor might have spoken about how they take care of their "senior saints". Walking away would make them realize how much was truly misinvested, and how much they were lied to.

b) Older members have failed to maintain outside friendships over the years, because their cult required all their time and devotion; often warning against being close to outsiders with different standards/beliefs. They would have to rebuild their entire social network if they left. Most young people seem to be less held back by this, and rebuild networks faster (IMHO). Young people don't want to find their spouse in the cult or raise their children there, while the older people have already moved past that stage and might like to be surrounded by what is familiar.

c) I have noticed some people are making good money by selling stuff or making business contacts at their large Fundy church (a really horrible idea, BTW). If church members make up a sizable amount of their business clients, they might be very reluctant to leave their golden goose.
When we left the cult, we had to find a new hair stylist, mechanic, baby sitter, plumber, etc.

d) Who wants to admit to their kids that they raised them in a cult and made them endure lots of inappropriate crap? Lots of incentive for denial. Similar to admitting any other kinds of family dysfunction, IMHO.

[EnlightenedMK]

#1 - the main reason for this is the indoctrination that if you question or talk about the leadership or teachings of the church in anyway other than positive you are "causing decention among the brethren" and are viewed as a troublemaker and no one wants to take on that role openly.

This was the dilemma we faced when making our exit, we knew between 85-90% of the congregation disapproved of the changes (or would if they knew) but no one would step up and talk about it and take it on publicly. We debated for a while if we should stay and fight and force the issues to the forefront, but ultimately decided it would do nothing but brand us.

Since leaving, I have occasionally made comments on friends FB posts (when it's really obvious that they miss the mark) and have been told that "all I ever do is criticize" and "I think I'm the FB police"

#2 - the same thing as everyone else has said combined with the idea that they believe "pastor will never let that happen here" or "it won't get that bad here".


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk