[Workin' Mama]

(07-24-2017, 09:38 AM)myotch Wrote: Confession: the priest we heard yesterday told us to write out our enemy list.  Even though I know what's coming next, I'm going the "full Sheldon" with that thing.

I'm curious -- what's coming next? Is your priest going to tell you to love your enemies or pray for them of something? I'm not familiar with Catholicism, so I am curious at to its view of enemies, anger, justice, revenge, etc.

Jesus did say to love your enemies, and pray for those who despitefully use you. He also said to forgive. I wrestle with what that is supposed to mean. I'm easy to get along with, and I care deeply about helping others. My enemy list is really, really short. I could count my true enemies on one hand. All of them have either molested children or beaten and tortured women. All of them have escaped earthly justice because of our broken legal system. These criminals aren't just hypothetical to me. These are people who I know, who I've eaten with, who in one case, I used to live with and trust deeply. They have hurt me and they have hurt people I love.

So here's my confession: Despite believing that the teachings of Jesus are the cornerstone of Christian living, I do NOT love my enemies. At times I hate them. I do not pray for them either, unless praying "Lord, please just let them die before they can hurt anyone else" counts. I don't necessarily pray that they would burn in hell, but I think that if they died, they would go to hell, and the idea of them burning in hell doesn't disturb me. Maybe it should. Maybe I'm a horrible person, a horrible Christian. Here's another confession: I'm so angry.

I believe that God's justice is perfect, especially when it comes to the strong who oppress the weak and rob them of their basic human rights. I have to believe in God's justice. It's the only way I can survive having seen so much evil committed by evil men and seeing them get away with it.

There have been moments when I have tried to forgive my enemies, but that has mainly been to try to release the rage and hate built up inside of me. So then forgiveness becomes a selfish act -- something we do to try to get away from the negative feelings, which doesn't work anyways. If forgiveness is the cancellation of a debt, perhaps I have forgiven my enemies already. These evil disgusting assholes owe me nothing, not even an apology. I don't need them to "get it" or to understand the damage that they've done and the evil that they are. If forgiveness means leaving justice up to God and the earthly legal system, rather than taking justice into one's own hands (I think that's call "revenge"), then yes, I have forgiven them.

Maybe the feelings of anger are just that and nothing more -- feelings. Perhaps, as long as I do not allow my anger to control me, it can be a tool, a source of energy that can be harnessed to make the world a better place . Or maybe I'm just on my way to the Dark Side of the Force . LOL.

[myotch]

You bring up some great points, Mama. I'm sure most of us have problems "forgiving" a childmolester or other predator.

In this case, the priest wants us to pray for those who are on the list, forgive them. I don't think that's all of it. Maybe committing the names to paper is a transformative experience in itself.

I don't think forgiving people necessarily entails trusting them or allowing them back into our lives, or letting them enjoy previous benefits or advantages. I've read it before, and posted it on a thread here a long time ago - forgiveness is just a cancellation of a debt. Cancelling that debt changes us - we are free from expectation, of attempts to extract what is owed....that a person could change. It liberates us.

[Papa Bear]

I suck at my job.

[Workin' Mama]

Papa Bear, you're probably better at your job than you think.

It's the people who think they're great, and aren't, that you really have to look out for.

[First Time Caller]

PB,

Agreeing with WM. You are probably doing better than you think. Don't sell yourself short. We all juggle constantly, too many responsibilities, too many needs. Sometimes we can't keep up, even when we are giving it our all. But you care... and that's huge. Your best is all you can give. Often the problem is others' expectations.