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Phrases that Make You Cringe - Miss TTU Runner-Up - 03-06-2018

This is a spin-off of the thread Pastor’s Wife started about “life groups.”

Some phrases that make me cringe include:
Quiet time
Thought life
God’s will for your life

I’m sure I will think of more.

What are yours?

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - Waldo L - 03-06-2018

"Devos." I think I'm smart, but I'm not quick, so somebody had to actually explain what that was to me, when I was 15 years old. It's short for "devotions." Another euphemism is "God & I time."

"Brother [So-and-So]." Yes, we're all part of the family of Christ, but to use "Brother" as a title does not have precedent anywhere else that I'm familiar with. This might be a grammar thing for me, but it's related to the religious discussions. I confess I actually use "Brother" without a name, when I don't know the man's name. Maybe it's an acquaintance or visitor or that one guy's grandpa but I just can't remember if it's the maternal grandfather and so would have a totally different last name...

"I'll pray for you." Maybe the speaker means it. But it sounds like the, "Be warmed and filled" warned about in the Bible, where a person can say it and move on and not actually help a situation.

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - WalrusWrangler - 03-06-2018

One of my biggest actually comes from work. A problematic coworker from six years ago would always start a condescending argument with the phrase, "Here's the thing." I can't hear "here's the thing" without a shudder.

The fundy things that make me cringe are mostly the egregious ones: standards, old paths, separation, etc. Calling someone brother or sister so-and-so gets me, too. Those aren't things I hear much or at all from evangelicals. "God's will" used to bother me, but after some study I came to understand it differently from how the IFB treats it. I'm pretty good with it now, as long as it's not in a fundy context. I never heard "quiet time" before I joined my current Evangelical church. The term never made sense to me. At best it sounds like meditation, and at worst it sounds like a childhood punishment, like silent lunch at school. I normally just say devotions or prayer/Bible time.

Now, in my Evangelical context, most anything that deals with dating, singleness, or gender roles causes me to cringe. I don't hear them from sermons often, but they do come up in conversation occasionally. Things like "guard your heart," "women want to be pursued," "men want to be respected, and women want to be loved," "the gift of singleness," and anything that implies that single guys have it easy because they just have to ask (implying that women can't, when they totally can). These aren't hard and fast teachings of my church, but a lot of my friends have gotten these ideas from their upbringing and even, to some extent, from culture. I think it's partly a Southern thing.

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - myotch - 03-07-2018

I can take a lot of things and empathize with the people saying them, but anyone who says something to the effect of “God is talking through me” or “God led me...(to say something that would be insulting from a friend, acquaintance, or loved one, but since it’s God, you can’t be offended)” is pretty much a target of my anger and derision, unless they can credibly claim prophet status.

Otherwise, it is manipulative abuse. And in my experience, I haven’t met any credible prophets.

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - Miss TTU Runner-Up - 03-07-2018

Myotch, yours reminds me of another one: “I’m not judging you, God is.”

Also, “speaking the truth in love.”

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - Workin' Mama - 03-07-2018

Along the same lines as myotech and Ms TTU, "If that offends you, then you're offended at God and His Word. The Bible says it, not me!"

All the words and phrases I mentioned on the Life Group thread: "ChrisT"
(emphasis on the T; "Jesus" is never mentioned), "Biblical," "think for yourself" (speaker really means "think what I tell you to think).


"Godly." Depends on the speaker and what they mean by it.

"Revival." Even from a Fundy perspective, having a week of meetings with a guest speaker does not constitute revival. It's just something the church does once a year. For ordinary people with jobs and college classes and school aged children, going to meetings every night for a week is exhausting, not reviving. It's also not an effective evangelism tool. If they want to have a guest speaker, it would make sense to ditch the revival stuff, and have a conference focused on a specific topic, and host it on a weekend.

"We had such an incredible service last night!" (From a Pentecostal coworker). Actually, you had a really emotional service. Somebody cried, somebody spoke in tongues, and somebody danced the hokey pokey up the aisle. And next week when the service is not so emotional, you'll feel guilty for not being in touch with the Spirit. Not that I would ever say anything like that to my coworker, who is also my good friend. Live and let live.

"To be honest with you," or "To tell you the truth." Another one from my abusive father. Aren't we supposed to be honest all the time? What the crap does this phrase imply, anyways? That the speaker is a habitual liar, but happens to be telling the truth today? That for some reason he is afraid that his listener won't believe him? That the truth is uncomfortable for the speaker and/or the listener? Also, people often use these phrases to express their personal opinions, not objective truths. At best, this is emotional honesty, as in "to tell you the truth, I never liked her." Annoyingly, I use this phrase myself sometimes, usually when admitting to my own limitations or telling someone something that they may not want to hear. As in, "To be honest with you, I've done everything I can to treat your condition. I think we're going to have to send you to a specialist." Or, "To be honest with you, more medication is not going to help. You are going to have to change your diet and start exercising."

Also, I'm totally with Walrus Wrangler on cringing at anything related to gender roles. The "Love and Respect" thing drives me bonkers, because it implies that women don't need respect and men don't need love, or at least that they are secondary needs. How can you have a loving relationship with another adult and not also respect them? How can you love anyone without respecting their basic human dignity?

Re: "quiet time." We have "quiet time" at our house almost every day. It's not religious, nor is it a punishment. It basically means the kids takes naps so that the adults can have a breather. If they don't want to take naps, that's okay; they can play quietly in their rooms or color. On most days they seem to like "quiet time." I guess it's all about what meaning you ascribe to a phrase.

Re: "thought life." Yeah , this one is bad. Like God is policing your thoughts or something. I heard this mostly in the context of not thinking about sex before you are married. Like, what single person doesn't think about sex? Once you're married, they change their tune a little bit, and suddenly all kinds of other thoughts are sinful too. You're sinning if you get mad at someone, even if you don't act mad. You're sinning if you have anxious thoughts, because that means you have a lack of faith. Blah blah blah blah.

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - rsc2a - 03-08-2018

(03-07-2018, 10:25 PM)Workin Mama Wrote: Blah blah blah blah.

Sounds pretty wicked and depraved.

Sent from the mouth of God using Tapatalk

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - leo the lamb - 03-08-2018

"Get plugged in (to a good Bible-preaching church)." This one bothered me before I questioned everything, and it still gives me the skeeves.

Similarly, it bugs me whenever I see the word "belong" in a churchy context. I can't help reading it NOT as in "finding a home/family" but rather like you will be owned by someone.

On a related note, and off topic, I no longer go to church, and that makes my life a little bit happier (:

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - Miss TTU Runner-Up - 03-09-2018

“God laid it on my heart.”

Sometimes this is a way of saying “This is what I want.”

“The Bible clearly says...”

There is very little that the Bible truly states clearly, and they brush off some of those things.

RE: Phrases that Make You Cringe - Workin' Mama - 03-09-2018

Any anti-LGBT rhetoric, but especially the phrase "defending marriage," or conversely, "attacking marriage." This seemed crazy to me even when I was a Fundy. How can LGBT folks be attacking marriage? The only people who can attack your marriage are you and your spouse, and possibly some other close family members, such as your mother-in-law.