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Marriage - pastor's wife - 01-01-2015

My little girl is watching "Jessie" on Netflix and a character just proposed this way:  "Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me."

That's a problem because when you are actually married and that wife you're now "stuck with" isn't making you happy, then the premise of your marriage is shaken.  You don't marry someone thinking that person will always make you happy.  That's impossible.  


RE: Marriage - Bald Jones Grad - 01-01-2015

No on else can make a person happy, not even the best spouse. We need to disabuse young people of any such notions, but they wouldn't listen to us anyway.


RE: Marriage - leo the lamb - 01-01-2015

The guy didn't say "Marry me and make me the happiest man in the world." Slight difference in wording, but it sounds to me like he was merely implying that if she said yes that would make him the happiest man.


RE: Marriage - pastor's wife - 01-01-2015

I agree, Leo. I realize I was reading into it! I guess I just know of many people who feel that if they're not happy in their marriage, they want out, and hearing the proposal worded that way just reminded me of that.


RE: Marriage - Dr. Jezebel - 01-01-2015

I'm not happy in my marriage, & I want out.

It's hard to be happy when you're being emotionally blackmailed & psychologically abused.


RE: Marriage - Bald Jones Grad - 01-01-2015

(01-01-2015, 05:37 PM)Dr. Jezebel Wrote: I'm not happy in my marriage, & I want out.

It's hard to be happy when you're being emotionally blackmailed & psychologically abused.

A spouse cannot make the other happy, but they can make them miserable. I'm sorry Dr Jez.  


RE: Marriage - Dr. Jezebel - 01-01-2015

Thanks, BJg. My point is that some people have legitimate reasons to be unhappy in marriage. And it feels trite to say, "I just wasn't happy anymore," but that's often what is said b/c outsiders don't need to know specifics.


RE: Marriage - oldendays - 01-01-2015

You shouldn't marry someone who doesn't make you happy. Is that what we're suggesting?


RE: Marriage - pastor's wife - 01-01-2015

Good point, Dr. Jez. There definitely can be unhappiness caused by specific behaviors (or a lack of other behavior). I'm sorry you're in that situation.


RE: Marriage - dramaturge - 01-01-2015

(01-01-2015, 08:53 PM)dthatcher Wrote: You shouldn't marry someone who doesn't make you happy. Is that what we're suggesting?

No, I think the point being made here is that marrying the "right" person or having the "right/perfect" person say, "yes," will not make you the happiest person in the world or even make a person who is not happy happy, but a lot of shows and movies aimed toward girls and women do often suggest that either by marrying their "soul mate" or by being a fantastic girl, they can be made happy for the rest of their lives or make a man the happiest man in the world forever, respectively. And while I do take the point leo makes that the Jessie example isn't totally egregious, the mosiac of media that pushes this unhealthy idea makes even small tiles wrankle. Anyway.